I met god on acid

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iBangPigeons

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Oct 23, 2017
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This is a synopsis of my LSD trip a few days ago:

I’ve struggled with my mind for some time now, overthinking everything, struggling with levels of consciousness and why I do things, but today I figured everything out.
Even now, as I lie here in bed after my eventful day, sober; I have been shown so much more about the identity of myself than I ever could even conceptualize before. I've been able to analyze my subconscious before, but now I realize the things I drew from it were all from an outside perspective. Today, I was the subconscious, or at least a section of the subconscious. I controlled hunger, thirst, desire, concentration, pain, fear, uncomfortability, breathing, hearing, taste, desire, seeing, and a lot more that I'm sure I just can’t remember now as I skim through this book that consists of journeys through my day.
And it’s all given me a newfound look on life. On my life, in the vanilla life that I’ve realized my conscious is responsible for: choice.
All of the work I had to go through as the subconscious has made me realize just how minuscule my task is and gives me a broader purpose in fulfilling the things I know I need to do.
Determination.
And not only that, but because I have controlled these things, I can now will myself to do things much more easily under the cause of fulfilling my duty as the conscious to keep the body healthy, and have established some form of communication between myself and the subconscious to help control things like pain.
Imagine if Riley from Inside Out was aware of Joy, Anger, Sadness, and Fear. Not only was I aware of those things, it was like I kicked them out of the room and took the controls for myself for a bit.

I was going to do this last year, but I recognized I was not in the right mindset to do this. I needed to wait until I had shit figured out to do this because I didn’t want to rely on it as a crutch to fix my problems. And while that is inevitably what ended up happening, they were problems that I’ve suffered from my whole life and they rested so far back on my list of concerns that it wasn’t something I really even considered a problem anymore and accepted them as traits. But I was given the tools and told to dig. The drugs didn’t solve my problems, I solved them.

I met god.

I met god during my overarching journey. My entire day can unfortunately be categorized in the analogy of Minecraft haha
Vanilla Minecraft is what each of us live in as the conscious. It’s familiar, and we’re good at it. There are actions we have to control and we know how to do it because we have for so long. Then there’s LSD, which basically just installed a mod pack into my brain that allowed me to access new parts of the overall duty of keeping the body healthy that I wasn’t previously responsible for. For the sake of this analogy, I will use Agrarian Skies. In AS, you’re given a quest book, filled with 9 categories, and each category is filled with a tree diagram of tasks to complete. My trip was this book. I was started out in vanilla Minecraft on my little 3x3 platform and told to build and dig. Everything that I’ve mentioned above was in one of those categories, and there were a few that I 100% completed, including my understanding of my role as the conscious. However, there was one category I came across: death; that I wearily explored. In death, I discovered the route that someone would take in order to die on a conscious level. The body would remain alive, as well as the other parts of the subconscious, but my conscious identity of self would die and every other persons conscious would very easily be able to recognize it because of two possible forms: comatose or psychosis. And if I wanted to right there, I could have kept going to die, and kill the conscious. But I knew I still had a body and my vanilla conscious to protect, so I left that category for another day, when the conscious is done with its job.

For when I’m done walking the lands of the Earth.

From there, I jumped from category to category wildly, just skimming each one to stand in awe of its vastness when I noticed how fragmented my brain was. I started to pick up the pieces and try and fix my scattered brain when I met god.

I met god.

I couldn’t see it. It stood behind me and I knew that my level of subconscious would cease to exist if I looked. I could have turned around, but it was like I was the new guy in the office and all of my coworkers were frantically shaking their heads at me to stop before I offended my boss’s boss. So I stayed looking forward as it embraced me. It’s aura was orange and it was warm as it extended its reach and put everything back into place, and then it left.

I met god.

This god was not what I had ever thought god would be beforehand. The only thing that felt similar to what any religion describes was the father/son relationship. I was the kid that just went through his room and started knocking shit over out of curiosity, to experience. God was the father that came in and sighed, picking everything up and putting it back on the dresser.
This was god, and I’d say the reason that I’ve always been so skeptical is because of the vastness of the power. That god would control everything about everyone, about everything. This understanding of god seems much more feasible to me, that each person has their own god, a higher being that runs the entirety of the show known as your life. But since I’ve now jumped into the rabbit hole, I know it goes down deeper than it looked from above, no matter how much I tried to gauge it before. And it makes the concept of a power like that more conceivable when you start to take the level of vastness of the universe and relate it to the concept of the conscious in that sense.

I don’t want to go down the rabbit hole anymore.

Because I’ve explored desire through and through now, I don’t want to know more. All I want to do now is go back to vanilla life and fulfill the task that I’ve been assigned: keep the body alive through its place in the physical world; because I never realized how much work went into what goes on above my job as the conscious. I have no desire to ever get drunk or high again. I’ll still drink, but controlling the conscious is just the right amount of work for me, and if I get drunk then I won’t be able to properly do my job as the conscious because it’ll be too much work to try and keep everything in check.

I can't say that it was an entirely positive experience though. Because I was in control of part of the subconscious, I didn't know how to operate the controls to remind the part of me that still controlled the conscious of certain things. I ate not because I knew I was hungry but because I knew that I should be. I went through things that caused pain not because it hurt, but because I knew that it should hurt and that was not good for my body. My mind was active so intensely for so long that coming down my brain felt fried, like I had just gotten done taking the hardest test of my life for 12 hours straight. Fear at the time was nonexistent, and I didn't realize just how scary my journey through death really was. Part of the process for that included me controlling my breathing, and eventually stopping breathing in all. I had no sense of suffocation and only chose to start breathing again because I realized that I shouldn't be messing with death. And most importantly, I now am struggling with my sense of identity, two days later. I know that if I'm the same person, I'm forever changed; but I don't know if I am the same person. I really do think there's a possibility that my consciousness was replaced with another one. I'm sure it's a feeling that will eventually pass, but it is still one that I have to deal with and I'm not really sure how to live my vanilla life at the moment.

Overall it was a positive experience for me, I learned a lot. But I don't recommend taking it unless you are fully prepared to have your life and identity changed. Make sure to have someone with you that is experienced with it and can make sure you stay safe and can keep you from trying to do something harmful to yourself because you want to experience something. That was something I kept having to remind myself of. Sometimes you'll see something moving that you know shouldn't normally move and as long as you remember it's not really moving you can keep calm and just appreciate it.

I hope this provided some interest, humor, or information to whoever reads this, and I'm sorry to have dumped some of my problems off on readers but this is a good grounding for me.
 

Luke

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Oct 23, 2017
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I've never been able to push myself into having this experience, but I'd be lying if I said I never considered it. In-fact, there was a moment when JUSTON and I lived in Nashville where we had access to this sort of experience if-ever we wanted to give it a go, but we never got around to it because we always found some reason to push it off for another day, or something would distract us from the idea for a few weeks.

After reading this well-written post of yours, I'm back in that mindset of trying something like this. If and when I do, I'll share my experience with you; probably not on the forums in a post, but in a private message.

Thank you for sharing!
-Tell God I said hi
 

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